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Letter to my Little Ladies


Girls,

I don't know how to explain to you what has happened to the world.  You're too young yet to know what's going on, but I know you feel it.  You feel the anxiety that your dad and I exude.  You wonder why we're not going to the library, or to parks, or to your favorite place, Target.

I'm sorry that I've cried in front of you many times over the last month.  I'm also not sorry.  You should know that your mother is just a person, like any other person, that doesn't have things figured out and is scared and anxious.  Your dad and I are trying our best to make life normal for you, but when we're telling you that mommy can't do that right now, she's on the phone, or that daddy's door is closed because he's in a meeting, it makes us sad.  I know you're wondering why we're so distracted and not present with you.  I don't know how to make that better.

All we can tell you is that we love you, and we're staying home to keep you safe.  We are staying home to keep ourselves safe, because the thought that your dad and I could get sick and go to the hospital or leave you is terrifying.  We are staying home so that we can keep other people safe, and you understand that because you're kind and helpful and empathetic.  The first time you saw a person wearing a mask on our walks you were curious, and now you notice when people don't wear masks.

I don't have the burden yet of having to comfort you as you miss your friends and loves and schools.  You're too little to have those attachments, and for that I'm very grateful.  Getting to spend every waking second with mommy and daddy seems like an amazing bonus for you both, and I wonder what it will be like when our lives go back to some sort of normality and I have to drop you off at daycare.  I think that is still a long way out, but I'm mentally preparing for it now.

If all you know is your dad and me, then we need to do everything we can to make your life seem normal and stable.  I will be the first to admit that I'm not doing the best at this, but I don't think anyone is right now.  I wonder how this will affect you in the long run, and I wonder how this will affect the world I brought you into, but those are things that are beyond my control.  I promise to stop worrying so much about the future and to get down on the floor and play with you both, because you're helping me get through this more than you know, and I'm so grateful for you both.

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