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Precious Resources


The general picture of a house cat is the image of a large, lazy kitty basking in a ray of sunshine, sleeping for hours on end, and begging for food.  Well, my cats do a fair amount of that, but they still retain some of their ferociousness, especially when it comes to toilet paper.

You may be wondering, what does toilet paper have to do with cats?  Well, for years I would walk into our master bathroom to find a toilet paper massacre.  If a roll was left out, our Basil would rip it to shreds.  I would grumble as I picked up the scraps, just throwing away the entire roll as she'd decimated any usefulness.  The other day, though, as I was painstakingly rationing toilet paper to our three year old, I thought about all of those rolls lost to the cat and wondered how I would react now.

I would completely lose my shit.

The week before our family went into full social isolation, I found myself on a quick run to Target during lunch.  Wandering the isles, I randomly grabbed a large package of toilet paper.  We typically order a few rolls with our regular grocery delivery, but since I was there I grabbed one.  I'm SO glad I did.  Three days later, on Sunday morning, everything changed.  Companies were going remote, schools were closing, and there were runs on grocery stores.  The great toilet paper hoarding of 2020 began.  I smugly stood in our garage and surveyed our multitude of rolls, so thankful I'd grabbed that big package.

Well, it's been four weeks, and that pack is more than halfway gone, and I'm getting nervous.  I feel like when I try and add toilet paper to my grocery order my computer just laughs at me.  It's pretty inevitable that we'll have to venture out of our cozy quarantine to set foot in an actual store.  I know it will be ok, and we'll take precautions if it comes to that, but I'd really love to ride this out without ever having to go to a physical store.  I'm so thankful for the workers on the front line of this epidemic that are working around the clock to make sure people like me have the supplies we need, so I am going to do as much as I can to limit their exposure.

For now, I will continue to give the three year old one square at a time and ignore her confused looks, but the cat should know that if she ever messes with our toilet paper, which is safely hidden in the cabinet, there will be consequences.

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